From 6eed3f882518db1b89ecb39ead0a054949c0ce58 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jesse Luehrs Date: Fri, 12 Jul 2019 23:30:57 -0400 Subject: remove some obnoxious fortunes --- local/share/fortune/yasd-fortune | 149 +-------------------------------------- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 147 deletions(-) diff --git a/local/share/fortune/yasd-fortune b/local/share/fortune/yasd-fortune index 7307b57..a19ba71 100644 --- a/local/share/fortune/yasd-fortune +++ b/local/share/fortune/yasd-fortune @@ -87,11 +87,6 @@ < Violist> go team elvish chicks with big weapons! :) < greycat> and green leather! % -< Arcane> The succubus takes 3808 zorkmids for services rendered! -< Cheapy_> You just got laid, congrats! -< Arcane> 3808 gold pieces. -< Arcane> Overchargin' ho. -% < fishbowl> a twelfth spellbook of invisibility! Thanks Mars!!! % For once, I'd like to meet some non-killer bees @@ -330,22 +325,6 @@ % < kriebly> I had a dream where I walked into a cockatrice nest completely naked. I woke up petrified. % -< kriebly> nethack has to be female -< itsblah> why? -< kriebly> okay first, nethack has very complicated needs -< kriebly> make a mistake, and its game over -< kriebly> then, nethack is never the same each time you encounter her -< kriebly> also, nethack often gives you crpytic messages that are hard to understand -< kriebly> also, to conquer nethack, you must be very attentive at all times -< kriebly> finally, to conquer nethack, you must love her for what she is -< itsblah> you dont have to love nethack for what it is to ascend -< itsblah> i have plenty of ascensions on my record -< itsblah> i dont need to love nethack -< kriebly> you are so cruel to treat her so! -< itsblah> you must not let her radiance distract you from the goal of beating her -< itsblah> because yes, we are all out to beat nethack, right? -< skittles> so finishing nethack is now a euphemism for spousal abuse? -% eww you play in black and white? b/w rules it is how it is meant to be played @@ -367,10 +346,6 @@ < Arcane> COPE? < SpeedEvil> Just learn to cope. % -< art> Is there an advantage to playing females? -< kriebly> chance to explore feminine side -< Irashtar> Its a full moon! You feel pissed off at the universe -% tek69 (Wiz Elf Mal Cha), 6561 points, killed by a soldier ant Go team ant :) go team everyone actually. I love when rng decides it's gang bang time. @@ -410,8 +385,6 @@ mind has played 19 games, between 20060327 and 20060330, highest score 310369, died 19 times No games for matter. % -< krilly> SO you basically go deep into the dungeon, find this peice of metal crap thing, sell it for a cheap hoe, a bottle of wisky, and you and your pet get shitfaced and enjoy a hand job each? Sounds interesting! -% < kbi> how come vault guards aren't detected by telepathy? < greycat> kbi: because they're not on the map until you summon them < kbi> greycat: even tho i can hear him counting? @@ -539,11 +512,6 @@ < SpeedEvil> Tengu-flakes! < krilly> Tengu on toast, actually. % -< Reene> actually nymphs are more like high school girls -< itsblah> how? -< emcee> they're annoying -< Reene> they charm you into giving them shit and they still won't have sex with you. -% i wish my friend who got me into the game warned me about that. Queensownt (Val Hum Fem Neu), 1251966 points, killed by the wrath of Moloch Queensownt reaches #1943 on the top 2000 list. @@ -898,8 +866,6 @@ I DO NOT WANT TO GLADLY REMOVE MY HELMET KJDFLGJKSDFGLSDFJG % -< jmt> bah. I roleplay in nethack. I play a female chaotic monk, and pretend I'm my wife. :-) -% < jmt> First two shops were liquor emporiums. This isn't a dungeon, it's a college town. % < Peter__> duude @@ -957,8 +923,6 @@ % Cool. Finally got to Chuck Norris level in martial arts. % - I guess I'm asking what the definition of resist is. Does resist in this case mean it will successfully resist? Or merely that it will resist but possibly fail? I mean, a girl may resist my advances, but if I'm persistent... -% i don't know about you but i'm american, we don't check to see if we're hungry before we eat % wierd i cant find the .sadism.c from http://www.melankolia.net/nethack/nethack.fun.html#20 , anyone else see it? @@ -1109,12 +1073,6 @@ I'm sure that most elven women are just as ugly as the rest of us. You've just got a skewed idea of the elven population thanks to the patriarchal media. Actually, most elven males look like pretty hot women too % - in fact, I think that's the lowest score I've ever had in charisma - the HP in the line below lined up with Evoker, and made me read "Merlincore the Hooker" - lol - that'd be one ugly hooker at 4 charisma - she must have great rates -% The invisible arch-lich zaps a wand of digging! The floor here is too hard to dig in. that's right, bitch @@ -1208,11 +1166,6 @@ merlincorey: imagine how hard you would have to kick a wall to die from it < Tatter> Join the meter high club today! < jmt> "The next night, they did it again, this time with Sony walkmen." % - you blow AAAAA, you get one gear. you know there is exactly one A in the key - next, you blow ABBBB. you get one gear and one tumbler. you now know there is exactly one A and one B, and you know that one of the B's is right and your A is wrong - so now you blow CABCC... - and if you're cute, female, and over 18, you blow lorimer -% you know how if you try to read a book that is too hard you get stunned or it explodes or you get teleported that just happened to me irl % @@ -1255,15 +1208,6 @@ Maketakunai: You are dead. Would you like your possessions identified? Zauren (Bar Orc Fem Cha), 732 points, killed by a dwarf king I was paralyzed in fear of the purple h % - Oh woot. - I hit myself with /oPoly as a last resort - I'm now a blue jelly in an engulf fight with a dust vortex - aren't there japanese websites devoted to that sort of thing? - You are engulfed by the tentacle vortex! Your armor is ripped apart! -more- - You are engulfed by a tentacle monster! You cannot escape! You feel violated. - The tentacle monster charms you! - The tentacle vortex takes 999 gold in payment -% The watch captain and the priest have been in the temple for like 2000 turns now. They're totally getting it on in there % < aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear @@ -1273,11 +1217,6 @@ Maketakunai: You are dead. Would you like your possessions identified? And then have the shopkeepers chase them all over the dungeons >.> Real Men kill the shk and don't even take anything. % -< Kittin> The game logic is gay, I am straight, the game logic keeps hitting on me, I keep saying 'stop it please.' -< Diablo-D3> How do you know the game logic isnt female? -< Kittin> The game logic throws me into a state of confusion by giving me virtual code roofies and rapes me while i stare blankly into space. -< Kittin> So if it's female it's one butch honey. -% * Yui_ hmms at graffiti: "they say a diamond is another kind of luck stone" < jmt> Sure, Yui, give a girl a diamond and you might get lucky. :-) % @@ -1380,7 +1319,8 @@ Maketakunai: You are dead. Would you like your possessions identified? The Internet feels as good as new! The nymph steals the blessed Internet! Haha. - You see the Internet here.16:59 < sylphie> Suddenly, the Internet disappears! + You see the Internet here. + Suddenly, the Internet disappears! The little dog eats the Internet The Internet takes on a strange transparency. The Internet wields a blessed lag monster corpse! The Internet hits! You are slowing down. @@ -1430,12 +1370,6 @@ Maketakunai: You are dead. Would you like your possessions identified? stand in a corridor and zap a wand of death at the wall. that will id reflection imork, thank you. i will try that % -[20:32:50] tradition dictates against eating dogs and cats, but strangely horses are okay - ok - it is generally accepted practice that if a cowboy is lost in the desert with no food or water... he eats his horse - easier than drinking it, anyway - I saw a film of a woman trying to drink a horse once. She started in a funny spot though. -% Zawk (Wiz Elf Fem Cha), 4573 points, killed by a lynx damn you antiquated webbrowsers! DAMN YOU TO HELL % @@ -1731,8 +1665,6 @@ from me when I first tried to get her to seduce the blob before I charmed her) Good amulet of Life savings! Good! % -Mumbo: nethack invented killing whores to get your money back way before GTA did -% ?? barrow wright how you spell it? DON'T YOU KNOW GIVEN THAT IT'S ON YOUR NETHACK SCREEN @@ -1793,18 +1725,6 @@ Mumbo: nethack invented killing whores to get your money back way before GTA did I think my god is trying to tell me something. then a trice and a kobold joined them... % - I need no Japanese schoolgirls - I do - I'm a lawful Priest, for crying out loud! - ewww - err, wait - ... - NO COMMENT - please ignore the obvious priest jokes - no wonder you don't need school_girls_ -<|7hs|> except when you put on your uncursed ski mask of opposite alignment -* GreyKnight searches his BoH for a helm of I'm Not Listening La La La -% * Botje reads a cursed scroll of genocide What do you want to genocide: Grunt Sent in some Grunts @@ -1852,16 +1772,6 @@ kuffs: homework is for non-ascenders atheist (Bar Orc Mal Cha), 6324 points, killed by a priest of Set Priest kills atheist? % -< Kitten_> So, I undressed and dropped everything I had on the altar. -< Kitten_> Naked in front of a priest. -< Kitten_> Such the altar boy I am. -< Kitten_> He didn't even come onto me when I tried to #chat him. -< Kitten_> What kid of a priest is he?! -< Kitten_> Oh. -< Kitten_> Nevermind. -< greycat> these aren't Catholics. -< Kitten_> I'm a girl. -% "Your health currently feels amplified!" That's a pair of extremely bad puns I really wish they'd change that message :P @@ -1997,41 +1907,6 @@ rast left the room (quit: Client Quit). 3) Cook dinner all in a day's work. % -spazm: sex doesnt matter -nornagon: LIES -alphamale: Somehow I'm not surprised to hear that on #nethack. -mercury5: only in nethack -nornagon: heh -spazm: should the females automatically get better prices from the male shopkeepers? -mercury5: yes but they should buy more -spazm: You feel compelled to shop! -spazm: You buy an OTHER pair of iron shoes! -mercury5: those boots don't match your cloak -spazm: -1 luck for not matching armor -nornagon: heh. -spazm: Your dwarven cloak matches your dwarven iron shoes! This makes you feel great! -spazm: and every 500 turns you have to get a new piece of armor or you get a -1 luck penalty -% - OCTOBER 22 IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY - HAHAHAHHAA - MAGICBANE! - I LIKE MAGICBANE - EIDOLOS LIKES TRANNIES - HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT? I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE. - MAGIC - COOL - DUDE - whoa, Magicbane was given at +2 - score - HEY - YOU ACCIDENTALLY TURNED OFF CAPS LOCK - SORRY - THE REST OF THE CHANNEL IS GONNA GUT US - THAT'S OKAY, THEY'RE A BUNCH OF LOWERCASE LOSERS - HAH HAH HAH - It's Oct 23 here 5 minutes already - DUKE FAILS -% heh, wrong potion * zid is now the proud owner of 250 cursed blank papers % @@ -2087,8 +1962,6 @@ spazm: and every 500 turns you have to get a new piece of armor or you get a -1 Cockatrice death. Now he's long AND hard % -azgor: Hmm... the castle tune appears to be FAGGG. I wonder if the rng is trying to tell me something. -% Rodney: dormammu (Bar Orc Fem Cha), 925 points, poisoned by a rotted small mimic corpse dormammu: is really awful at this game, heh. SomeoneElseYes: Don't eat corpses more than 50 turns old. @@ -2170,11 +2043,6 @@ dranger: The Jesus touches you! You can move around again. !learn info polyself bug polyself_bug has contributions by: [1]Eidolos [2]Eidolos [3]Eidolos [4]Eidolos [5]Grunt % - owned - rust monster made you his bitch - yeah I fucking hate them - Rust monsters, or as I like to call them, AC rapists -% Whoa.. why does a potion of oil cost so much? Did you apply-test in the store? Nope. @@ -2398,16 +2266,6 @@ billnye: look at your nick, man! [15:17] Marl (Rog Hum Mal Cha), 1075 points, killed by a hobgoblin MULTIKILL % - How do you get more than one pet? - Tame something. - If: You see here a large dog - Then: You throw the tripe ration. - End if. - TheShrewdDude: Then you have done something impossible - Or you have named your fruit "large dog" - korean fruit - My, that was a yummy large dog! -% worst: Hopefully I'll ascend this time, and never feel the need to play again... worst: but just in case, how do I set pickup types in the options file? % @@ -2515,9 +2373,6 @@ Greentryst: wield, wield, pass < CrusaderEsper> or too early... < billnye> The Ladies don't like it when you're too desperate % -< dhalgren> also they never should've put these female soldiers in the game -< dhalgren> The soldier removes a pair of low boots and puts on a pair of high boots. -% < Elgo> i am stuck < Elgo> i must control my digging frenzy.... < Jeevz> are you a rock mole? -- cgit v1.2.3