From 647e000e0d5021d7684ade725599ad78634f8ad4 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Jesse Luehrs Date: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 23:54:08 -0400 Subject: update some things from their external sources --- fortune/calvin | 643 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++------------------------- 1 file changed, 358 insertions(+), 285 deletions(-) (limited to 'fortune/calvin') diff --git a/fortune/calvin b/fortune/calvin index 2476c29..914631e 100644 --- a/fortune/calvin +++ b/fortune/calvin @@ -1,405 +1,478 @@ - That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't -good enough for me! I demand euphoria! -- Calvin +That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness +isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria! + -- Calvin % - The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and -inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and -impenetrable fog! -- Calvin +The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure +reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be +an intimidating and impenetrable fog! + -- Calvin % - Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius. Hobbes: What's -misunderstood about you? Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius. -- Calvin +Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius. +Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you? +Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius. % - Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test. -- Calvin +Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test. + -- Calvin % - Calvin: Can you make a living playing silly games? His Dad: Actually, you -can be among the most overpaid people on the planet. +Calvin: Can you make a living playing silly games? +His Dad: Actually, you can be among the most overpaid people on the + planet. % - If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it -again. -- Calvin +If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it +again. + -- Calvin % - The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real -application in life. -- Calvin +The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no +real application in life. + -- Calvin % - Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best -of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and -refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their -heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles! -- Calvin +Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the +best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for +principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any +whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into +principles! + -- Calvin % - Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in -the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. -- Calvin +Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists +elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. + -- Calvin % - It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool. - -- Calvin +It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool. + -- Calvin % - The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it. - -- Calvin +The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it. + -- Calvin % - Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change -what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell -the difference. -- Calvin +Calvin: Know what I pray for? +Hobbes: What? +Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what + I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference. % - I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to -seriously re-examine your life. -- Calvin +I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to +seriously re-examine your life. + -- Calvin % - But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands -sacrifice! -- Calvin +But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He +demands sacrifice! + -- Calvin % - It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. - -- Calvin +It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. + -- Calvin % - Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? - -- Calvin +Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? + -- Calvin % - Hobbes: What would you call the creation of the universe? - Calvin: The Horrendous Space Kablooie! +Hobbes: What would you call the creation of the universe? +Calvin: The Horrendous Space Kablooie! % - If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then -it's probably not worth knowing anyway. -- Calvin +If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, +then it's probably not worth knowing anyway. + -- Calvin % - Who wouldn't be interested in everything we do?! - -- Calvin +Who wouldn't be interested in everything we do?! + -- Calvin % - I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each -other's dreams, we can play together all night. -- Calvin +I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each +other's dreams, we can play together all night. + -- Calvin % - This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ... - -- Hobbes +This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen +... + -- Hobbes % - You can present the material, but you can't make me care. - -- Calvin +You can present the material, but you can't make me care. + -- Calvin % - YAAH! DEATH TO OATMEAL! - -- Calvin +YAAH! DEATH TO OATMEAL! + -- Calvin % - From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. - -- Calvin +From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. + -- Calvin % - I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... -Procrastinating and rationalizing. -- Calvin +I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my +life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing. + -- Calvin % - Reality continues to ruin my life. - -- Calvin +Reality continues to ruin my life. + -- Calvin % - Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. -I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Hobbes: Probably so we can think -twice. +Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my +thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. +Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice. % - I liked things better when I didn't understand them. - -- Calvin +I liked things better when I didn't understand them. + -- Calvin % - Is it a right to remain ignorant? - -- Calvin +Is it a right to remain ignorant? + -- Calvin % - I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less -distraction. -- Calvin +I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less +distraction. + -- Calvin % - Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in? - Calvin: Denial. - Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that... +Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in? +Calvin: Denial. +Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that... % - What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody -ever asks to see 'em? -- Calvin +What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if +nobody ever asks to see 'em? + -- Calvin % - My life needs a rewind/erase button. - -- Calvin +My life needs a rewind/erase button. + -- Calvin % - Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely -pointless. -- Calvin +Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely +pointless. + -- Calvin % - You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. - -- Calvin +You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't +help. + -- Calvin % - I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel -trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the -magnitude of it. -- Calvin +I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a +cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really +comprehend the magnitude of it. + -- Calvin % - Susie: You'd get a good grade without doing any work. - Calvin: So? - Susie: It's wrong to get rewards you haven't earned. - Calvin: I've never heard of anyone who couldn't live with that. +Susie: You'd get a good grade without doing any work. +Calvin: So? +Susie: It's wrong to get rewards you haven't earned. +Calvin: I've never heard of anyone who couldn't live with that. % - If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some! - -- Calvin +If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some! + -- Calvin % - "MOM, CAN I SET FIRE TO MY BED MATTRESS?" "No, Calvin." "CAN I RIDE MY -TRICYCLE ON THE ROOF?" "No, Calvin." "Then can I have a cookie?" "No, Calvin." -("She's on to me.") +"MOM, CAN I SET FIRE TO MY BED MATTRESS?" "No, Calvin." "CAN I RIDE MY +TRICYCLE ON THE ROOF?" "No, Calvin." "Then can I have a cookie?" "No, +Calvin." ("She's on to me.") % - I like to say "quark"! Quark, quark, quark, quark! - -- Calvin +I like to say "quark"! Quark, quark, quark, quark! + -- Calvin % - I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the -slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. -- Calvin +I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the +slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. + -- Calvin % - For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just get -used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well TOUGH BEANS! It's a free -country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I want! This is how I -am - Take it or leave it! -- Calvin +For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just +get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well TOUGH BEANS! +It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I +want! This is how I am - Take it or leave it! + -- Calvin % - Know what I pray for? The strength to change what I can, the inability to -accept what I can't and the incapacity to tell the difference. -- Calvin +Know what I pray for? The strength to change what I can, the inability +to accept what I can't and the incapacity to tell the difference. + -- Calvin % - As usual, goodness hardly puts up a fight. - -- Calvin +As usual, goodness hardly puts up a fight. + -- Calvin % - If we don't all watch the same TV, what will keep our culture homogeneous? - -- Calvin +If we don't all watch the same TV, what will keep our culture +homogeneous? + -- Calvin % - My behaviour is addictive functioning in a disease process of toxic -co-dependency. I need holistic healing and wellness before I'll accept any -responsibility for my actions. -- Calvin +My behaviour is addictive functioning in a disease process of toxic +co-dependency. I need holistic healing and wellness before I'll accept +any responsibility for my actions. + -- Calvin % - My family is dysfunctional and my parents won't empower me. Consequently -I'm not self actualized. -- Calvin +My family is dysfunctional and my parents won't empower me. +Consequently I'm not self actualized. + -- Calvin % - Nothing I do is my fault. - -- Calvin +Nothing I do is my fault. + -- Calvin % - Why should I have to work for everything? It's like saying that I don't -deserve it. -- Calvin +Why should I have to work for everything? It's like saying that I don't +deserve it. + -- Calvin % - Why do we drink cow's milk? Who was the first guy who first looked at a cow -and said "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze -'em!"? -- Calvin +Why do we drink cow's milk? Who was the first guy who first looked at a +cow and said "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things +when I squeeze 'em!"? + -- Calvin +% +Hobbes: What if the public doesn't like your work? +Calvin: They are not supposed to like it. This is avant-garde stuff! + I'm criticizing the low brows who can't appreciate great art + like this! % - Hobbes : What if the public doesn't like your work? - Calvin : They are not supposed to like it. This is avant-garde stuff! - I'm criticizing the low brows who can't appreciate great art - like this! +I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the +slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. + -- Calvin % - I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the -slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway. -- Calvin +The dame was hysterical. Dames usually are. + -- Calvin as Tracer Bullet +% +Thank you. before I begin, I'd like everyone to notice that my report +is in a professional, clear plastic binder... When a report looks this +good, you know it'll get an A. That's a tip kids. Write it down. + -- Calvin +% +Calvin: I think we have got enough information now, don't you? +Hobbes: All we have is one "fact" that you made up. +Calvin: That's plenty. By the time we add an introduction, a few + illustrations and a conclusion, it'll look like a graduate + thesis. % - The dame was hysterical. Dames Usually are. -- Calvin as Tracer Bullet +Wormwood: Calvin, how about you? +Calvin: Hard to say ma'am. I think my cerebellum just fused. % - Thank you. before I begin, I'd like everyone to notice that my report is in -a professional, clear plastic binder...When a report looks this good, you know -it'll get an A. That's a tip kids. Write it down. -- Calvin +If you want to stay dad you've got to polish your image. I think the +image we need to create for you is "repentant but learning". + -- Calvin % - Calvin : I think we have got enough information now, don't you? - Hobbes : All we have is one "fact" that you made up. - Calvin : That's plenty. By the time we add an introduction, a few - illustrations and a conclusion, it'll look like a graduate thesis. +"Dad buried in landslide! Jubilant throngs fill streets! Stunned father +inconsolable - demands recount!" + -- Calvin % - Wormwood : Calvin, how about you? - Calvin : Hard to say ma'am. I think my cerebellum just fused. +Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then +suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. But it is +too late to change anything. + -- Calvin +% +Sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We are so busy watching +out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take the time to enjoy +where we are. + -- Calvin +% +Hobbes: Well, you still have afternoons and weekends. +Calvin: That's when I watch TV. % - If you want to stay dad you've got to polish your image. I think the image -we need to create for you is "repentant but learning". -- Calvin +Hobbes: Shouldn't we read the instructions? +Calvin: Do I look like a sissy? % - "Dad buried in landslide! Jubilant throngs fill streets! Stunned father -inconsolable - demands recount!" -- Calvin +You know what we need, Hobbes? We need an attitude. Yeah, you can't be +cool if you don't have an attitude. + -- Calvin % - Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly -we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. But it is too late to change -anything. -- Calvin +Why can't I ever build character at a Miami condo or a casino somewhere? + -- Calvin % - Sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We are so busy watching out for -what's just ahead of us that we don't take the time to enjoy where we are. - -- Calvin +Sometimes one should just look at things and think about things without +doing things. + -- Calvin % - Hobbes : Well, you still have afternoons and weekends - Calvin : That's when I watch TV. +What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe with lassie? A melon-collie +baby! Get it?? HA HA HA OH OH HA HA! + -- Calvin % - Hobbes : Shouldn't we read the instructions? - Calvin : Do I look like a sissy? +Hobbes: How is the diorama coming along? +Calvin: I'm almost finished. +Hobbes: I don't see the roadrunner. Weren't you going to put one in? +Calvin: See the cotton balls I glued down? +Hobbes: Yeah? +Calvin: The roadrunner just ran out of the scene leaving behind clouds + of dust! % - You know what we need, Hobbes? We need an attitude. Yeah, you can't be cool -if you don't have an attitude. -- Calvin +It must be awful to be a girl. I'm sure it's frustrating knowing that +men are bigger, stronger and better at abstract thought than women. +Really, if you are a girl, what would make you go on living? + -- Calvin, Dictator-For-Life, of GROSS (Get Rid Of + Slimy girlS) % - Why can't I ever build character at a Miami condo or a casino somewhere? - -- Calvin +There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. + -- Calvin % - Sometimes one should just look at things and think about things without -doing things. -- Calvin +Golly, I'd hate to have a kid like me! + -- Calvin % - What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe with lassie? A melon-collie -baby! Get it?? HA HA HA OH OH HA HA! -- Calvin +This is so cool I've to go to the bathroom. + -- Calvin % - Hobbes : How is the diorama coming along? - Calvin : I'm almost finished. - Hobbes : I don't see the roadrunner. Weren't you going to put one in? - Calvin : See the cotton balls I glued down? - Hobbes : Yeah? - Calvin : The roadrunner just ran out of the scene leaving behind clouds - of dust! +I imagine girls and bugs have a dim perception that nature played a +cruel trick on them but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend +the magnitude of it. + -- Calvin % - It must be awful to be a girl. I'm sure it's frustrating knowing that men -are bigger, stronger and better at abstract thought than women. Really, if you -are a girl, what would make you go on living? --Calvin, Dictator-For-Life, of -GROSS (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) +Dad are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my +accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way +compensate for all the opportunities you botched? + -- Calvin % - There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - -- Calvin +If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don't care +nothing matters so you are never upset. + -- Calvin % - Golly, I'd hate to have a kid like me! - -- Calvin +Life is full of surprises but never when you need one. + -- Calvin % - This is so cool I've to go to the bathroom. - -- Calvin +I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and +happiness. + -- Calvin % - I imagine girls and bugs have a dim perception that nature played a cruel -trick on them but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude -of it. -- Calvin +"The dynamics of inter-being and mono logical imperatives in Dick and +Jane: A study in psychic transrelational gender modes". Academia, here +I come. + -- Calvin % - Dad are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my -accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for -all the opportunities you botched ? -- Calvin +Miss Wormwood: Calvin where was the Byzantine empire? +Calvin: I'll take "outer planets" for $100. % - If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don't care -nothing matters so you are never upset. -- Calvin +How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? + -- Calvin % - Life is full of surprises but never when you need one. - -- Calvin +I thrive on change... I thrive on making other people change. + -- Calvin % - I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and -happiness. -- Calvin +Be careful or be road-kill. + -- Calvin % - "The dynamics of inter-being and mono logical imperatives in Dick and Jane : -A study in psychic transrelational gender modes". Academia, here I come. - -- Calvin +A good compromise leaves everyone mad. + -- Calvin % - Miss Wormwood : Calvin where was the Byzantine empire? - Calvin : I'll take "outer planets" for $100. +Given that sooner or later we're all just going to die, what's the +point of learning about integers? + -- Calvin % - How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? - -- Calvin +Miss Wormwood, could we arrange our seats in a little circle and have a +little discussion? Specifically, I'd like to debate whether cannibalism +ought to be grounds for leniency in murders since it is less wasteful. + -- Calvin % - I thrive on change... I thrive on making other people change. - -- Calvin +The only skills I have patience to learn are those that have no real +application in life. + -- Calvin % - Be careful or be road-kill. - -- Calvin +You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right. + -- Calvin % - A good compromise leaves everyone mad. - -- Calvin +Calvin: Who can fathom the feminine mind? +Hobbes: I like 'em anyway. % - Given that sooner or later we're all just going to die, what's the point of -learning about integers? -- Calvin +If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it. + -- Hobbes % - Miss Wormwood, could we arrange our seats in a little circle and have a -little discussion? Specifically, I'd like to debate whether cannibalism ought -to be grounds for leniency in murders since it is less wasteful. - -- Calvin +Summer is butter on your chin and corn mush between every tooth. + -- Calvin % - The only skills I have patience to learn are those that have no real -application in life. -- Calvin +If we wanted more leisure, we'd invent machines that do things less +efficiently. + -- Calvin's dad % - "You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right." -Calvin +To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible. + -- Calvin % - "Who can fathom the feminine mind?" -Calvin "I like `em anyway" -Hobbes +Susie: When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. +Calvin: I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add + some lemons of your own! % - "If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it." -Hobbes +If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they +are? + -- Hobbes % - "Summer is butter on your chin and corn mush between every tooth." -Calvin +But the important thing is persistence. + -- Calvin trying to juggle eggs % - "If we wanted more leisure, we'd invent machines that do things less -efficiently." -Calvin's dad +I suppose the secret to happiness is learning to appreciate the moment. + -- Calvin % - "To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible." -Calvin +Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely +pointless. + -- Calvin % - "When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade." -Susie "I say, when life gives -you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!" -Calvin +It's hard to be mad at someone who misses you while you're asleep. + -- Calvin % - "If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?" --Hobbes +Oops, I always forget the purpose of competition is to divide people +into winners and losers. + -- Hobbes being sarcastic % - "But the important thing is persistence." -Calvin trying to juggle eggs +Someday I'll write my own philosophy book. + -- Calvin % - "I suppose the secret to happiness is learning to appreciate the moment." --Calvin +Some things don't need the thought people give them. + -- Hobbes % - "Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely -pointless." -Calvin +Mom knows EVERYTHING! + -- Calvin % - "It's hard to be mad at someone who misses you while you're asleep." -Calvin +I'm a simple man with complex tastes. + -- Calvin % - "Oops, I always forget the purpose of competition is to divide people into -winners and losers." -Hobbes being sarcastic +Endorsing products is the American way of expressing individuality. + -- Calvin % - "Someday I'll write my own philosophy book." -Calvin +One of the joys of being a kid is that experiences are new and +therefore more intense. + -- Calvin sniffing mustard % - "Some things don't need the thought people give them." -Hobbes +It's great to have a friend who appreciates an earnest discussion of +ideas. + -- Calvin % - "Mom knows EVERYTHING" -Calvin +That's the problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists +trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. + -- Calvin % - "I'm a simple man with complex tastes." -Calvin +All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at +once. + -- Hobbes % - "Endorsing products is the American way of expressing individuality." --Calvin +I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we +couldn't react to a lot of life. + -- Hobbes % - "One of the joys of being a kid is that experiences are new and therefore -more intense." -Calvin sniffing mustard +I don't understand this! Not a single part of my horoscope came true! +... The paper should print Mom's daily predictions. Those sure come +true. + -- Calvin % - "It's great to have a friend who appreciates an earnest discussion of -ideas." -Calvin +I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that +the price is always so low. + -- Calvin % - "That's the problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying -to describe things of unimaginable wonder." -Calvin +I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside. + -- Calvin % - "All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once." --Hobbes +It takes an uncommon mind to think of these things. + -- Calvin % - "I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't -react to a lot of life." -Hobbes +That's the problem with nature, something's always stinging you or +oozing mucous all over you. Let's go and watch TV. + -- Calvin % - "I don't understand this! Not a single part of my horoscope came true! ... -The paper should print Mom's daily predictions. Those sure come true." --Calvin +As a math atheist, I think I should be excused from this. + -- Calvin, to Hobbes % - "I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the -price is always so low." -Calvin +This game lends itself to certain abuses. + -- Calvin % - "I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside." - --- Calvin +I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept. + -- Calvin % - It takes an uncommon mind to think of these things. - --- Calvin +I have plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it. + -- Calvin % - "That's the problem with nature, something's always stinging you - or oozing mucous all over you. Let's go and watch TV." - --- Calvin +A voice crackles in Calvin's radio: + "Enemy fighters at two o'clock!" + "Roger. What should I do until then?" % - As a math atheist, I think I should be excused from this. - --- Calvin, to Hobbes +I'm looking for something that can deliver a 50-pound payload of snow +on a small feminine target. Can you suggest something? Hello...? + -- Calvin % - This game lends itself to certain abuses. - --- Calvin +My ethicator machine must've had a built-in moral compromise spectral +release phantasmatron! I'm a genius! + -- Calvin % - I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept. - --- Calvin +That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of +empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. + -- Calvin % - I have plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it. - --- Calvin +Until you stalk and overrun, you can't devour anyone. + -- Hobbes % - A voice crackles in Calvin's radio: - "Enemy fighters at two o'clock!" - "Roger. What should I do until then?" +The inside of my head was exploding with fireworks. Fortunately, my +last thought turned out the lights when it left. + -- Calvin % - I'm looking for something that can deliver a 50-pound payload of snow - on a small feminine target. Can you suggest something? Hello...? - --- Calvin +Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I +believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it. + -- Calvin % - "My ethicator machine must've had a built-in moral compromise - spectral release phantasmatron! I'm a genius!" --- Calvin +Verbing weirds language. + -- Calvin % - "That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of - empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder." - --- Calvin -% - "Until you stalk and overrun, you can't devour anyone." - --- Hobbes -% - "The inside of my head was exploding with fireworks. Fortunately, - my last thought turned out the lights when it left." - --- Calvin -% - "Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I - believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it." - --- Calvin -% - Verbing weirds language. - --- Calvin. -% - "The intrepid Spaceman Spiff is stranded on a distant planet! - ..our hero ruefully acknowledges that this happens fairly - frequently.." --- Calvin and Hobbes +The intrepid Spaceman Spiff is stranded on a distant planet! ...our +hero ruefully acknowledges that this happens fairly frequently... + -- Calvin as Spaceman Spiff -- cgit v1.2.3-54-g00ecf